I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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