Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
