This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
