I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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