You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize