goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
