Already got asked if we're dating
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Even my vagina gasped.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize