How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
