y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
