Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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