me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize