NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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