He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
