Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
