i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
