he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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