So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
