I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
