This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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