Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
