No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
