is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
