i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
