Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
