Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
