You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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