Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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