i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
