you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize