Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
