i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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