You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
