so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
