no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize