The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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