I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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