my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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