We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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