There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
