had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
