i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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