the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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