Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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