Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
