The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Come see our sink grown plant.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You took a bar mat shot.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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