Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
