Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm both gender and math confused
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
