I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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