If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
