So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
