you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
