Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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