Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
