i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
