It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
