how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
