i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
